So You Just Pissed Off A Hive Of Wasps
by DarkAce101
Summary: Evil comes in small, winged, packages. Feel free to review and tell me what you think. Part 3 of the 'So You Just Pissed Off...' series.


So You Just Pissed Off A Hive Of Wasps

Bees… we can all agree that everyone hates fucking bees. It can take the manliest of men and turn them into screaming girls if the Jonas Brothers and Justin Bieber were making pancakes for kittens. But their exists something so ridiculously badass that it makes bees look like gay lady bugs. No it's not as badass as Batman, but it definitely comes at a near second. The Fucking wasp. These insects aren't only completely insane; they are out right evil. Obviously, Satan is actually a giant wasp in disguise. The wasp was made when God decided that destroying everything with fire wasn't, and i quote, 'punishing enough', and created the T-100 of all insects. These bastards do not fuck around. Now you may be thinking 'well hey, i mean it looks like a bee, so it should do bee shit like pollinate and make honey and shit.' Well you'd be excruciatingly wrong because a wasp is to a bee like 'Twilight' is to 'Inception', not even _remotely _the same.

Getting stung by a bee **FUCKING **sucks, i mean, that's the reason why we hate bees. If you leave the stinger in your skin it will continue to pump venom into you which, in itself, is pretty badass. But wait, what? Why is the stinger off the bee? Well because of the barbs on a bee's stinger, when you get stung and it tries to fly away, the barbs latch into your skin and the bee rips it's **whole goddamn insides out **leaving the bee more hollow and dead than Kristen Stewart's emotions. So, though you did get stung, the bee just killed itself in an amazingly pointless kamikaze attack on your life. Unless of course you're allergic in which case, _fuck._ Wasps laugh at bees for having such a flaw, because Bitch Nature decided not to add the barbs part on the stingers of wasps. This obviously means, that a wasp can sting the ever loving shit out of you without worrying about their stomachs being missing. Oh, and to add insult to massive injury, they also have a venom that destroys blood cells because fuck you. Now bees only attack if you agitate them, so obviously, calling the bees momma fat, is probably gonna earn you a sting. But with a wasp, if you step into it's territory, it's coming to fuck your day up more than when you found out Nicki Minaj wasn't actually a Jinx in real life.

Oh, and the _world_ is wasp territory. No one is safe.

Now the only reason we put up with the bee's bullshit, is because it makes that tasty ass honey. But wasps don't give a single fuck about contributing to mankind because that's for pussies. Wasps don't pollinate, they don't make flowers beautiful, they just drink nectar and drink caterpillar blood. Wait, _the fuck_? Drink _caterpillar blood?!_ Oh yeah, they fucking catch caterpillars and drink their blood, then return to their larva and **regurgitate **that shit to feed them. Because even God himself experimented with LSD at one point.

Oh but you thought that was fucked up? You don't _even _know. There are species of **parasitic fucking wasps.** Yeah, you read that right. The parasitoid wasp, injects it's eggs into another, seriously unlucky, insect. Then the eggs hatch and the larva eat the insect from the inside. And by the way, just because this is happening doesn't mean the insect is dead, because most of the times it's **FUCKING ALIVE **while the things are inside it going haywire, because 'Alien' was totally an original movie… i'm on to you Ridley. Eventually, the larva mature and eat their way out of the (hopefully) already dead insect and spin a cocoon evolve and become wasps. Bee's are looking pretty damn cute right about now aren't they?

Now what do you do against a wasp? Hey, if you can kill the bastard, go right ahead. But know that wasps travel about 1000 yards away from their hives. Also, when you kill one, it releases pheromones that alert other wasps. Wasps have a very keen sense of smell, so if your ass is around when reinforcements show up to kick your sorry human ass, you're fucked. So if you want actual advice on how handle a pissed off wasp, here it is: **JUST FUCKING RUN, **because who knows, if they ever find you, they might all collectively lay eggs into you and you might become an inner buffet for baby wasps. That's never happened, but do you really want to be the first?


End file.
